Working on Serenity   Leave a comment

Serenity by Lady Birchwood
Serenity, a photo by Lady Birchwood on Flickr.

The Mia/Bubba relationship is tenuous and up-and-down. Sometimes they seem relatively okay together. On Sunday when Lottie was over, we were in the kitchen standing on opposite sides of the island. Lottie was holding Mia and I was holding Bubba. They were both calm and relaxed, just looking at each other. Wednesday when I got home from work and was dishing up Bubba’s supper, Mia was under one of the stools at the island and Bubba was under the table. They were both in relaxed positions, just looking at each other. Last night, Mia was laying at my feet in front of the couch while I was on the computer and Bubba was napping on his chair in the foyer. All was calm.

Then at other times, there will be a hissy fit. I’m proud to report that it has been Bubba letting loose with a big hiss at Small Stuff most recently and she has scampered away! I’ve been telling him, “Atta boy!” Last night, though, he went to eat some more of his supper and in going back to his chair through the TV room passed by Mia resting by my feet on the floor. He caught sight of her and then started to move very, very, very slowly across the room. It looks like he’s tiptoeing, like he doesn’t want her to notice him. He got as far as the rug in front of the front door where he sat down. I went to him and picked him up, rocking him and talking to him. When he started to purr, I put him down on his chair where he settled in. So, things are still touch-and-go, up-and-down, but I think with time, they’ll get a working relationship figured out. It’s going slow but we’ve got a 17-year-old tomcat who has had a very stable life with his mom and dad and one sister his whole life. This is a big, big change – for all of us!

I had my pet loss support group last night at Moo U. There were nine of us there, a pretty large group. There were several first-timers again last night with very recent losses, like within the last two or three weeks. That room is so full of pain! Many people are going through exactly what I’m experiencing with the loss of Katie. There are those in the group who have been dealing with a profound grief for months now, some for years now. At the end of the group, I shared that we had adopted Mia three weeks ago and I passed around her photos. I agreed that Mia isn’t Katie, Mia will never be Katie. Mia will never replace Katie. There will never be another Katie. I still miss Katie as much as ever and mourn her loss. But Mia is Mia, and she’s special and very loved. I received a few cheers and applause when I introduced Mia, but one woman – a woman who has been grieving for months now – said, “Well, everyone is different.” Certainly. It made me realize, though, that in spite of my tears and my pain that continue to be a part of my daily life, I have made a lot of progress in moving forward with a new phase of my life. That’s quite obvious when I hear where others are at with it. It helps to know that and keep it in perspective.

Mia was sleeping on the bed with me this morning and woke up for a morning schmooze. She settled on her back, all sprawled out like she does, and enjoyed having her tummy rubbed. I encircled her with my arm, and she rested her soft little paws against my cheek, purring. Eventually, she fell back to sleep that way. What a precious little girl! I hated to get up and interrupt our snuggle but I had to.

Small steps. A day at a time. It’s the best I can do.  The tears still come frequently but there have been smiles, too.

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Posted April 14, 2011 by StPaulieGrrl in cats, Daily Life

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