Child Control   3 comments

Child Control

What American needs is Child Control, not Gun Control!

This photo, seen on a “friend’s” Facebook page, kept me awake last night, reliving my own experiences of being disciplined by my parents with a whipping. (Dad’s leather belt was the method of administration by either parent.) Let’s just say that this did not make me feel loved, and as a 57-year-old woman, my memories of these whippings still do not make me feel loved.

I think that there is an extremely fine line between spanking, whipping, beating and/or abusing, and from what I’ve seen out on the street, a lot of parents can’t tell the difference, either. I have a hard time envisioning any parent being in control of the situation when they are striking their child, no matter what they use or what they call it. There has just got to be a better way to teach right from wrong and enforce who has authority in such matters than smacking/hitting a child.

Being a parent is the toughest role that one will ever assume. I think I recognized that at a young age (before I was 16 years old, at any rate) and did not think that my parental role models had given me much to work with. My emotional maturity did not feel up to the task and I therefore made the very conscious decision to not have children when I was in my late teens and twenties, thus saving all involved from the overwhelming stress that may have resulted (or not!) All that to say that I really cannot judge any parent for their decisions because I have not even stood in the same room with their shoes.

However, broad generalizations that our kids need to be smacked/spanked more — it’s what will cure the problems of our society — is a narrowminded, shallow viewpoint. Beyond reinforcing “STOP” to a young child in a harmful situation, it accomplishes very little. It certainly doesn’t solve any deeper or more long-term behavioral problems. It may, in fact, cause more harm than good depending on that particular set of circumstances.

Children DO need caring adults to guide them, to set clear expections and boundaries for behavior, and reinforce the consequences when expections are not met. Spanking is one way of accomplishing this, and many children have grown up just fine receiving an occasional swat when they were young. Many children never have received corporal punishment, but their parents have had other methods in their repertoire to get the guidelines and expectations across. One of the most significant factors in either case is whether or not there is a loving, attentive, invested parent/guardian taking responsibility for the child’s welfare. Children do not grow up into well-adjusted adults by raising themselves.

And a lot of kids do just that.

Advertisements

Posted February 9, 2013 by StPaulieGrrl in Mental Health

Tagged with , , ,

3 responses to “Child Control

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Hi, interesting reading another post about this topic. I wrote about this fairly recently as I think it is a highly relevant topic. It has recently been discussed in UK news, as a MP admitting he smacked his children. I wondered what people thought about this as a discipline method, it is not quite the best option, yet it is still popular.
    Bex 🙂

  2. I’m going to be lazy and copy what I put on Facebook.

    If I can reach out in time to “swat” a child before s/he runs into the street, for instance, then I can also reach out and grab the child to prevent him/her from running into the street. This is what I did with Sam. It took several tries, but grabbing him up and taking him back into the house registered. He didn’t like having his outdoor play time interupted and quickly learned that that was the price for trying to run into the street. It required my full attention and supervision, but I wouldn’t go back and trade the time and effort for potentially quicker results that hitting him may have brought on.

  3. Obviously, I was lazy and copied what I posted on Facebook as well! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: